Creating... Meditation.

When I was younger, I really wanted to EXPRESS myself when I drew or painted. And I was always frustrated because my drawing skills are not strong enough to do that. Now, I draw and paint as a way to meditate.

When I feel so strongly about something, and I want to DO something about it, but there's nothing I CAN do: I draw. I pick some random object and focus on copying it for an hour, and it calms me down. It gives me a way to just not think about what it is that's making me anxious.

It's a new discovery that I can calm myself down like this. I can feel hurt and angry and it feels like what I really need is to go out and run 5 miles, or do something to prove to the people that hurt me that I'm worth it. But what helps the most is sitting down and making a crappy drawing of my car keys. Amazing.

(I did this car keys drawing a long time ago, and actually I'm pretty happy with it. So maybe not that crappy. But still, it's car keys, not great expressive art.)